BlackQueer Heal

DMX Is Now Our Ancestor <3

Earl Simmons was the prophet I would always listen to and believe without doubt

Growing up Black in the African american culture was heavily marked by going to church and knowing the spirit being by the name of Jesus. It was cool because it was all we were fed until we ventured into other spiritual cuisine. But what would always trip me up was the figureheads on the stage behind the pulpit. Clowns. Liars. Hypocrites–unwilling to be honest about their human shit. That made going to church a little bothersome at a certain point and not worth the time it took to pretend to like it to please anyone- anymore– not even grandma.

But I had a gift and that was my mother. Although much of her life is/was plagued by the shame of church/Christian doctrine, she did her best to experience the difference she felt in her heart. She saw living differently, deeper and much of it showed up in my life through her choice of music. The jam sessions in the car on the way somewhere was like the best freedom journeys. Windows down, music blasting, and not much care about what others thought, it was Michelle and her girls.

DMX was the artist that found himself playing in the car, in the front room stereo, and in our individual boom boxes. It was something about the good hood feel to the prayer on bended knee that made him the pastor, prophet, messenger and homie felt deeply and believed undoubtedly. DMX’s journey looked liked us, our uncles, aunties, and mothers. DMX’s music was life over a tight beat. DMX gave us bad boy- motorcycle gang that belonged to us. He was our hard rap (rock) minister. And because he was so honest about who he was and his love for God– his prayers hit harder than that fakes on Sunday morning in the family church. His wisdom illuminated paths better than an exegesis of the Bible. He was the truth. DMX was our uncaged voice even when much of his music sprung from the depths of his personal cell.

And yes, we know his story, the one plagued by pain, drugs and exploitation- but those were his thorns… his crown was his truth he willing gave to us. For that, with open arms, Earl Simmons was received into the ancestral realm on 4/9/2021. My partner gave me the news are we neared the completion of our midday nap. It hurts, but knowing how this thing called spiritual travel works, it’s dope to know that DMX finished his mission.

We feel you forever and madd grateful for EXACTLY who you were.



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