BlackQueer Heal

Deep In Love With The Results of Honesty

Hello Lovers!

I hope this communication reaches each of you in good health, and if you’re not in great spirits, with each keystroke, I give myself in its purest form. I hope you can feel my positive vibrations because I am freely giving them to you.

Lately, I have been asking myself where does true freedom comes from? As I figure out the recipe for becoming my master self, I have a lot of talk time in the mirror. And whether it’s the mirror in my bathroom, my journal, or my reflection on some reflective surface, I am constantly seeking the answers to what feels like bottomless questions. However, one thing I have learned to be a sure solid is honesty. Wait, before you go nodding your head in agreement, I would like to unfold my thoughts.

We often wonder, why do people lie? But why? Because lying is the entrapment of thoughts and behaviors that result in falsified conclusions seemingly reasoned with massive amounts of projection. Not only do we ponder the behaviors of lying and of the liar to protect ourselves, but we also set strict boundaries in our lives against those that do. 

What’s more endangering is when the behaviors of lying are within the self, about self, to self, and because of self. Imagine the internal struggle of blocking yourself from yourself and not realizing the stagnation of growth because if you lived long enough, said behaviors evolve into grandiose oblivion. When we can’t be honest with ourselves, we can never get to the freedom we seek. 

Telling yourself you are…

not bitter from failed relationships

not an unfaithful person

not a person with major trust issues/jealous

not carrying an emotional connection with ex-lovers that you refuse to let go because of the hopes of “what if”

an alcoholic/addicted to drugs

not suffering from depression

not regretful of past life choices

not seeking love through the means of lust to find life

not a liar

not a serial monogamous lover 

not insecure

not, not, not, not… the list can reach the moon and back…

Every day I woke up in a hand-crafted prison because I neglected to tell myself the truth about myself. And to make matters worst, I purposely hid in friendships and relationships to keep from addressing my absolute truth and continue building the facade of healing and being “better.” And let’s not talk about blaming… 

However, when my soul started to get deeply grieved, I began to experience psychotic-like emotional breakdowns more often than usual. Tears, deep moans, groans, aggravation, repeated cycles of blatant verbal and subtle emotional abuse became the heart-devouring actions that crippled my growth. Lying to yourself is a self-injurious cancer-like behavior that slowly rids you of your credentials to recovery, but it also displays all over you even when you don’t want it to. Lying to yourself rots your truth, and it stinks. You don’t have to lie anymore. It’s okay to walk in your absolute truth, my love. 

It’s one thing to be “straight-forward and “honest” with others (that’s always the easy part), but it’s dynamic to be brutally truthful with yourself and engage in the lived experiences of such. May you shed our facades and be the person we are demanding others around us to be and see in us.

To receive the life you so truly desire, we must become the person that shall operate within it. 

Now, I ask myself why do people tell and live in truth… it’s because they want to be free, and there are no boundaries within the truth.

Free your mind, heart, body, and soul, and the rest will follow.

Love always,


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