BlackQueer Heal

2018…The Year Of The Lovers?

If 2017 was anything for you like it was for me, then I know you learned one hell of a lesson or two from life and love. If I didn’t know any better, I would say 2017 was a year of breaking. However, we are closing this year off, and it did not destroy us (maybe bruised us) mentally, spiritually, and emotionally. We have a lot to be thankful for.  

When I say breaking, I don’t automatically see a period where we experienced a lot of trauma. We learned “how-to” from all sorts of situations. And many of those situations taught us “what to do” by showing us the results of what we “should not do.” However, I envision a (re)defining, sculpting, cultivating, and planting of our mind and heart. 

As always, I believe in us and our capability to love once more. I think that regardless of any emotional stress we may have experienced in 2017, we can love harder. I am also confident that lovers who are in relationships can grow deeper in love and plant the seeds of wealth from pure love for the community and the world to be inspired by. We need more love in this loveless time.

I want most in 2018 for all of us to use the lessons we learned in 2017 and continue to strive to become better lovers. It is so easy to give up. Trust me; I know this all too well. Seven months ago, I was fighting for my emotional life. I wanted to quit everything, and I mean everything. I thought what I was experiencing at that time was the death of me, my love, and my creativity. I had no source to pull from. I was empty and defeated. I was not writing, was not being a good businesswoman, nor was I operating in my gift of love. As time continued to go on and my sunken place pulled me deeper in, I just knew I would not see myself other than a failure of love and at life. I became bitter even though I walked around with a smile on my face, and I promised myself to “dog” women out just like they would do me; no more loving unconditionally. I vowed to play the same games that were being played on me. I packed up all my manuscripts, logged out of Being A Better Lover, stopped payment on my website, and sat in a dark corner for two months weeping like there was no tomorrow. 

But that wasn’t where I wanted to be emotional. I didn’t want to be a part of the games the loveless world plays. Whether I was with someone or not, I desired to be emotionally healthy and creatively alive. To make matters more relevant, I double-dog dared to commit emotional suicide when the bulls*** I put myself through didn’t kill me. Was I crazy? I probably was. Emotional trauma does have the ability to send you into psychosis, but I wasn’t staying, nor was I playing. I got up and limped my way back to a brave spot in my heart that told me to LOVE ON!

In 2018 (hell, right now), you don’t have to relive your traumas, mistakes, shortcomings, or heartbreaks. You don’t have to prove anything to anyone. You don’t have to be codependent. You don’t have to settle. You don’t have to compromise your boundaries. You don’t have to shut yourself off emotionally. You don’t have to cheat, lie or manipulate someone’s emotions because that’s the trend called “love” these days. You don’t have to do anything more than focus on being a better lover. What you learned in 2017, use it to make you the brighter light in this thing we call life and love. You all know we already have too many dark lords running around snatching souls and breaking hearts. Be the vibration that awakens the caged mind, heart, and soul. 2018 is about emotional intelligence. Love with your entire existence from your experiences dressed in wisdom.

I didn’t give up, and I never will. I expect you to rock with me the same.

Love Always,

ParKer Bryant

P.S. I need you to survive, lover. ๐Ÿ˜‰

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